Dear Diary #8

Dear Diary

And so I am, now sitting in the school's most quiet library. A lovely Saturday it is, bright sun, chilling wind, fresh air.

I return to school today intially to help a friend of mine out to check if the dictionary she wants is still in the office. 15 minutes walk and 5 minutes to settle myself and report my findings, the task is finished. I then remained thoughtless sitting in the office for a few minutes.

I told my friend I will go somewhere else, but in fact I am not going anywhere. Partly pherpas I had forseen that coming, I brought my backpack (with all the books i need to read) and computer with me, so that I will at least have something to do even nowhere to go.

Why not going back to my own room then? A fair question.
I don't really like staying inside. Maybe it's because of the heater, or maybe it's because my heart is not willing to be caged inside that room... though well, I know it is not willing to be caged in the school either. To me, anywhere is fine as long as I have my computer and a bed.

At first, I wanted to visit my friends, give them a call or meet them for tea or lunch. But that was just a thought, random thought. I turned my back to them and asked them to leave me alone few days ago, and how could I just return to them and because I feel like to? Moreover, they probably don't have the time anyway.

And so I am, now in the library, trying to study, but not in mood at all.
It's lonliness, I know. Since when had I become so addicted to this feeling? I used to be so stand alone that I can almost take up the whole world all by myself.

I still can, but no longer the same focused and determined.

The serenade I just discovered last night matches perfectly with quiet sky outside, I've been sitting here listening to the same melody for over 30 minutes... in fact, I have also been listening to it the whole morning. Its tune seems to have the ability to fill the holes in my heart.

I wonder how's everyone been today. Somewhere on earth, people are still living in the same living hell. Somewhere on earth, people are crying in tears. Somewhere on earth, there are people like me staring outside of the windows while listening to music.

I wonder how's 'she' doing in this nice Saturday.

... but after all I am a political science students, perhaps there are more I shoud care of, such as my upcoming termpapers.

Serenade Of Nirvana: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=622dMv8Pbng